The Dark Path

I recognized the blackness of the path as I approached it for the second time in my lifetime. It was a road I truly never wanted to revisit. But sometimes life doesn't let you choose. That has been the case with my life over the past month, and especially over the past week and a half. As I took those first steps into the darkness, the familiarity of it all was overwhelming. Did I truly have the strength to navigate it to the end? And where was I going to find that strength again? The temptation to give in to depression was strong. As weak as I felt emotionally, could I actually be strong for someone else. Fear makes me doubt myself. But fear of failing to remain strong pushes me forward. Funny how fear can be both a positive and negative motivating factor.
My silence here, and everywhere really, is simply due to the fact that I've been hoarding all of my energy for a difficult work situation, my child who needs my strength, and my own battle with despair. But as we travel deeper into the darkness, there are differences. We all were changed by our last trip down this road and those changes are perhaps making us all more capable of walking it. It is still not easy, but perhaps not as terrifying as before. It's as if we were all given a small light inside of us, and although it wavers and is weak, it still allows us to see a tiny part of the path in front of us. And it gives me hope that not only I, but all of us will make it to the end a second time.