A New Chapter Begins

It was pitch black when I gingerly made my way down the stairs from my daughter's apartment this morning. I had spent the past two nights at her house after vacating my apartment in preparation for my temporary move to Virginia. I felt a bit odd leaving her and my familiar life in Maine behind. Before drifting off to sleep the night before I questioned the sanity of doing what I was doing. It flashed through my mind that I could call the whole thing off. I hyperventilated a little, before reminding myself that there were lots of good reason for leaving. Leaving my daughter behind was not one of them. At 4 am I left a heart felt thank you for her and her boyfriend for all the help they've given me with the move and I left them my love. I was missing them before I reached the bottom of their stairs.

In auto-pilot mode I got into my car and headed out. My iPod was my companion and mindlessly I drove, leaving Maine behind, then New Hampshire, then Massachusetts, followed by Connecticut.  Then, somewhere in New York I started to feel it. The freedom and excitement. How many people were able to follow adventures at my age? Here I was, driving hundreds of miles, alone with my car full of belongings. I remembered the meek little wife who didn't dare drive on the interstate...yes, that was me just 7 years ago. Not only was I driving, I was comfortable doing so. Suddenly I remembered the many dreams I had before my marriage, the ones about driving all over the country. Motherhood and a bad marriage had buried those dreams. But now new dreams of living in an area where I loved the weather, where I could afford to live and build my business. Where I wasn't sinking all of my money into over-priced rents, heating costs, and taxes. Somewhere forward thinking.  

I'm settled into a hotel room tonight, for a night of relaxation and sleep after a stressful month and a day of driving. I'll have a short 3 1/2 hour drive to my new temporary home in Richmond. And just 3 hours south is my son, waiting anxiously for next weekend when I get to go visit him. I'm smiling because although I still feel the sting of missing my daughter, my parents, my family and friends, I know that this is a new chapter in the book that is my life. It seems to be like so many books, a little slow at the beginning but it keeps getting more exciting and filled with possibilities as it goes along.